It amazes me to look back and find that I haven't posted since September of 2007 - and that was a post that, for some reason, I saved as a draft, and never published. (Incidentally, you'll see that I just published that post right after this one.) September of 2007! That's like declaring Blog Bankruptcy. That's like saying to all my faithful readers (both of them) that I could care less whether or not you know what's up, or whether you ever check back in with this here blog. What do you do after more than half a year of absence to get things rolling again? I've seen three options used on other blogs in this situation: 1) Profusely apologize, and promise never ever ever to disappear from the blogosphere again, 2) Explain in explicit detail all of the lame excuses for not posting, or 3) Completely ignore that you've been absent for so long, and continue writing as if your last post was yesterday. Hmm - which option to choose, which option...
I just got back from Toronto, where I took my first professional bassoon audition in 10 years. This time, the target was the 2nd bassoon spot with the Toronto Symphony. The results were the same as the one 10 years ago - a quick ten minutes of fame, and lots of time in the hotel room afterwards to think about what I could have done differently to advance. I practiced nothing but excerpts all semester, spent hundreds of dollars on plane fare and a hotel, flew thousands of miles, and had nothing to show for it - except the "good experience". I have a love/hate relationship with the "good experience" phrase. In one sense, all it really means is that you didn't get the job, and you have to find some justification for all the time and money you just spent. In another sense, though, it is symbolic of looking for things that really did go right during the audition to use for next time. I keep going back and forth on which meaning of the phrase most applies to my audition. I guess the only thing to do is to break down the good and the bad.
The bad: I made a couple of really stupid mistakes, which you absolutely cannot do, and expect to advance in a professional audition. I got a little psyched out right before I went on, and was a little more jittery than I expected. Oh, and I didn't advance to the next round.
The good: I actually took a professional audition - I need to remind myself how important of a step that was. Besides the couple of mistakes, I actually played a pretty decent audition. The Brahms Violin Concerto excerpt was flawless, and I rocked the Berlioz Symphony Fantastique fifth movement (yes, the double tonguing one). I got through the entire list of excerpts - not everyone did before getting hit with the universally feared phrase "Thank you very much." (which is a nice way of saying, "Get the hell off the stage.") I got to hear the Toronto Symphony in concert, and I got to meet Michael Sweeney, the principal bassoonist.
Yeah, I guess I can sincerely say it was a good experience.
I'm flying out to Houston this Saturday to try my luck again - 2nd bassoon opening with the Houston Symphony. Odds are I'll have a similar story to tell, but you never know. If that doesn't pan out, there's yet another audition in New Orleans a week later. I'll be there, hoping for that last chance at a job before trudging back to school in the fall.
Anyway, this post was going to be a kind of "here's what I did this past year", but it turned into an essay about auditions. Maybe I'll get into the whole "whimsical look back" next time. For now, I'll just end by saying that I can't tell you how much I'm enjoying playing the bassoon these days, and having a sense of purpose again, however fleeting it may be.
Until next time.
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